In a Funk...

I am on a local Spark Team called "Springfield Sparkers". We have been together now... well, basically since I began this lifestyle journey change back in January of 2008 (seems so very long ago now...). We have bonded together in a force like none other. We are there for each other through the good losses, the bad gains, the standstills... We have patted each other on the back when needed and given each other a swift kick in the butt when that is well deserved too. Many us have been doing this for several months... and now, we find ourselves... in a funk.

I am not sure what it is. I attibute my being in a funk, to my being on this journey steadfast for months and I am tired. I'm tired of watching every bite I eat, I'm tired of knowing I SHOULD exercise, I'm tired of wanting something to eat but nothing "sounds" good... I am tired of having to "THINK" about what I am going to eat... I am tired of having to plan my food... frankly I am tired of being tired...

And though I am in a funk... Still I have held on... I guess, for me... I have that next "mini" goal in mind. It is important for me to make that goal. I know I may have to revamp that mini goal as the days go by. I know I may not succeed... but for me, having "mini" goals has helped tremendously. If I were to look at the big picture... (which I did a minute ago and my heart rate STILL hasn't gone back down!), I am not sure I would bother!

So.. though I am in a funk... though my head says I'm tired and I just don't want to do this anymore... My heart continues to try to succeed.

I try to look at what is different... what is changing on my body and even more importantly, what is changing in MY mind... I see myself differently... I feel as my body is losing stick after stick of butter (now a total of 188 sticks!) that my inner being is resurfacing after having been buried for so long! And the good news is now... I have a NECK!