Happenings

Isn't it surprising how one can be going down a path and everything seemingly just fine, and then... it's like a freight train - and something comes out of nowhere and upsets your whole entire being? Such happened on Saturday and though I am trying to desperately "act" like everything is okay and I'm okay... I'm not okay. It isn't okay that life is changed in an instant because someone gets mad at you and threatens to destroy the life you've worked for the last several years... it's not okay that people say things to you and seem to be hateful and upset over something so small that it all could have been solved with only a few words between you... and yet, such is life at times. Upsetting and threatening and life changing.... and with it, so do we.

January 23rd, 2008

Here we are, almost thru January already -- and it just seems like yesterday we were playing in the pool, enjoying the sun... but no, it's definitely January here in Missouri... it was so cold this morning and I am tired of being cold!

I've had the humdrums today.. not sure why, just haven't felt myself today. I think I am tired.... tired and menopausal! That never helps!

Tuesday, 1/22

So... we made it over the weekend. Even driving to Sikeston and meeting Dan and Jan for lunch at the infamous Lambert's "Home of the Throwed Rolls" - we made it thru just fine. I think, all in all, I am doing quite well... Staying on track, counting every bite... I sort of like the SparkPeople.com website and logging on and getting involved, writing emails, reading articles. I'm learning a lot and hopefully, expanding my mind NOT my waistband any longer!

Week One Complete....

... and I finally bought a scale! Bought one on Wednesday. Weighed when I got home -- was vastly surprised that my actual weight was quite a bit less than my "thinking" weight was! Woo hoo! Surprise, surprise... Had an awful time changing the ticker on my sparkpage but finally was able to get it changed last night....

So... since today is my one week, I thought I would get on the scale this morning and see what it brings me... I am officially 5 lbs. down! And I am feeling 20 lbs. lighter -- my head, my lungs, everything feels different.

Bekah said for the first time last night, she noticed she wasn't so tired after work -- so it is with me too... I have a lot more energy and haven't been doing much exercising....

I told Bekah -- no excuses for me.... I just hate to exercise. I'm working up mentally though... sometime soon, I'll kick in!

Day Six.... already?

... time flies when you're having fun and when you are consumed with thoughts of sparking your life to bigger and better things!

I read a quote yesterday - 'People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing -- that's why we recommend it daily.' I love this quote. So true. You have to motivate yourself each day -- it's what keeps us going and gives us that 'zing'.

Day Six... and I still haven't bought a scale! Yikes!

Day Five...

... and we ate out for the first time -- I chose well, I think. It's Tuesday and that's Bob's fabulous night to cook -- so Subway it is. Worked out well as I had a 6" Subway Club which was 320 calories. For the total today, I've gone over my calorie limit however, yesterday I was under my goal calories. So... all in all, I'm doing okay.

My mind is really clear and it's awesome. I have goals to work with and I'm excited for the first time in a very long time about changes -- and changes in me. I'm trying to take small steps and not rush and get over my head in this... so far, I'm really doing well and loving the even small changes that I see.

I invited my brother, Ben, to join me yesterday and today I talked to Kerry, at work, about it. I'm hoping they both join in and we can share the goals and really help boost morale... Spark each other, as they say!

Success... 15 minutes at a time!

Day Three & Four...

... well, I did my first "sharing" yesterday with my brother, Ben and with my daughter, Bekah, concerning the "Sparkpeople.com" website and my endeavor to eat better, walk a bit more, etc. I am excited and thrilled with their reaction and Bekah has joined in with me on the journey.

I wrote on my blog at sparkpeople.com that I want to lose for my sons, I want them to see a thinner mom by summer and I want to lose for my granddaughters -- I want to be able to run with them and play, and not feel totally exhausted. Today is a good day and I feel, for the first time in a long time, that I can actually do this and succeed.

I don't want to be pencil thin or heavy anymore... I want to be healthy.

So here we go. The next step in the journey is 15 minutes at a time!

Day two...

... and what a day. Not so good... but not so bad. I've refrained from eating chocolate -- I've drank my water, I exercised (yes... we cleaned house up AND down) and I didn't cheat on my menu. I told the truth... spagetti - 2 cups, saltine crackers... a large soft pretzel. I figure what's the sense in lying? I might as well come clean -- and fess up to what I eat, it shows anyway.

Last night I found a new show on TV called "How to Feel Good Naked" -- wow... I laughed and I cried. It is an amazing show... learning to love your body and love yourself just as you are.... NOW that is something I can get into.

... so, day two. Not a bad day. Not at all.

A New Day... A New Year...

... a new me? I've done it. Today I signed up for "Sparkpeople.com" a website made specifically to help "spark" people to be all they can be, whether it's dieting (in my case) or getting an edge up on their career - today I decided to join (after all what is there to lose, but pounds?) and see what all I can do to better me.

I started at lunch. Surprisingly I really didn't know what I was filling out -- Now I have found out how many calories I can partake of per day, water to drink, exercise (ugh, did I just say that dirty word?) to do, etc. I'm learning... I've decided the "fast track" fabulous diet pills, diet drinks, etc. isn't working... so perhaps, good hard work, will.

I'd like for my sons to see me thinner again... I'd like for my granddaughters to see me as a "hip gramma-K".. I'd like for my niece, Abby, to want to come up to do things with me, and me... to not be too tired to do them...

So.. as they say, today is the first day of the rest of your life. One of my goals is to journal... that and eat two fruits or veggies a day and walk each day... well, two out of three isn't bad... right? For the first day?

So...drop by my page at sparkpeople.com and see how I'm doing. I'm still navigating around the site trying to figure it out... but I'll be there... and here, journaling, and trying to become the person, I know I am.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=MSKELLEY