I'm depressed...

... why? I have lost three pieces of jewelry. Two, of which, my children's father gave to me... and though we are no longer a couple... those pieces of jewelry... well, really ALL my jewelry mean a lot to me. I know... it's materialistic.. I know it's probably shallow... and yet, it is how I feel.

My head says Bob's son, Jason, probably stole it... my heart says... he wouldn't do that to me... and yet... I've looked most everywhere I can think of. I have a couple of places yet to look... that I can't look till tomorrow as my jeep is in Springfield currently -- sitting without a transmission... Bekah remembers I used to keep the two rings in the console of that truck.. so perhaps that's where they are... but the gold necklace is still missing and my heart hurts and my soul is very, very sad.

If I can not find these pieces of jewelry... well, then that leaves only one thing that could have happened to them.. and that means... I wash my hands of Jason... and I will no longer welcome him into my home.. or into my life.. and I will pull away from him in a way that I have never done to any child...

I can not even hardly think as my heart hurts and my soul is crying... literally, to think that someone you allow into your home would do this to you... He wouldn't, right? He couldn't.. steal from me? Why do I think he wouldn't steal from me when I know he's stolen from his own father... why would I think I am any different?

I am very, very sad.

Bob has asked me if I am mad at him... the answer is no... I suppose in a way though.. I am. He stood up for Jason as I was talking about the jewelry... I understand he wants to give him the benefit of the doubt... but shouldn't he at least stand beside me and say... if he took these things, honey... then we will stand together against him? Shouldn't he at least... comfort me?

There has been no comfort... none.

And that alone... makes me even sadder.